Keeping In Touch

Q: Why is pirating addictive?
A: Once you lose your first hand, you get hooked!

Q: Why do pirates always bury their treasure 18 inches below th' ground?
A: Because booty is only shin deep!

Q: Why does it take pirates so long t' learn t' read?
A: Because they spend years at C!

Arrr, happy International Talk Like A Pirate Day!

To be more precise, “Relocations to take advantage of economic opportunities, and the concomitant expansion of social connections, are breaking up that old gang of mine” but that’s harder to fit to a catchy tune.

The Wedding of the Year was awesome, because it was a celebration of the union of two lovely people of course, but also because it was a chance to see so many old friends who have scattered to all corners of the earth. We are running out of good reasons to get together, unless somebody converts to Judaism in time for a child’s Bar or Bat Mitzvah.

The wedding was in Ottawa* and we took the time to see some sights** as well as a jaunt up to Montreal*** to see my sister, her husband, and their cute offspring.

Highlights of the trip:

• Having the sweetly sincere wedding officiant gush over the symbolism of the eagle that she’d seen flying overhead earlier, then her saying “Oh, how wonderful, there it is again!” as she pointed upwards to a turkey vulture. I’m sure it’s still very symbolic of something, though.
• The wedding cake being a three-tiered tray of Timbits. Genius!
  
• Seeing “Red Max” meet the man who privatized the Saskatchewan mining industry.
• A presentation at the War Museum on the Battle of the Plains of Abraham, explained by a guy wearing a Leafs jersey and a guy wearing a Canadiens jersey, watching the battle from a couch with comments like “Montcalm is leaving the high ground? What is he thinking?!?” When they started discussing the consequences of the battle, the camera moved back to reveal a third (Native) guy in a Canucks jersey (“Hey, when did you get here?” “I was here all the time, man.”) and, well, it was just really really funny and very Canadian.****
• Hearing that my niece and nephew are a 7 year old Jamaican and a “forty-twenty” year old Japanese, respectively. *****
• The expression on my love’s face when he finally got a plate of smoked meat poutine. It was everything he'd hoped for.
  

Not so good parts of the trip:

• Picking up a nasty wet sinus cold from somewhere. I apologise to anyone I involuntarily infected, since I was probably “shedding virus” (as the kids say) on Saturday and Sunday before I felt the symptoms.
• Forgetting to reserve a rental car on Labour Day weekend (like that wouldn’t be a high demand time) and having to do some unnecessary imposing-on-friends and expensive running about to procure one.
• Mosquitoes. I’d forgotten about mosquitoes, though the smell of Deep Woods Off actually made me get all nostalgic, if you can imagine. Proust can keep his lime-flower tea; I have my DEET.
  

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* Outside Ottawa, technically, at a lovely riverside country inn.

** The Museum of Civilization, the War Museum (I only got through a part of it, but that was more than I thought I’d be able to handle), Byward Market, the Manx pub, the Brig, Darcy McGee's… um, I guess I shouldn’t list bars, should I?

*** Outside Montreal, technically.

**** And it included the Anglo guy telling the Francophone guy "It was a long time ago, man, just get over it!" and the Native guy commenting on the influx of British refugees following the American Revolution with "Just what we needed... more white guys."

***** This is not actually the case. Just thought I’d be clear.