We had a lot of people recommend "Napoleon Dynamite" to us. Good friends, intelligent friends, friends with impeccable (or at least roughly parallel) taste in movies. Last night, we borrowed it (from one of these friends) and watched it.
What a piece of crap.
It's been a really really long time since I've seen a movie that I disliked so strongly. Not because of any intention on the part of the creators (like, I probably wouldn't enjoy watching "Hotel Rwanda," but I'm not supposed to) but out of anger that there is an hour and a half of my life that I'm not going to get back.
Am I missing something? Was there some deep message that passed me by? I am not ordinarily insensitive to nuance; I am no stranger to irony, to deadpan humour, to satire, to black comedy. This was none of those things. It was just a waste of time and film (note that I am not saying talent). There were about 20 seconds of the show that I didn't dislike, and that was only because they featured an alpaca. Alpacas make everything better.
Afterwards, when we could speak again, R:tAG staggered to our video shelf and weakly grabbed the first DVD to hand, just to try to clear our mental palates and let us sleep that night. This cinema sorbet turned out to be Spiderman 2, and it seemed like freakin' Casablanca, let me tell you. Even the preview, for some piece of fluff called "Hitch," seemed like a brilliant masterpiece.
Feh.
As usual, an update consisting of random stuff to show people that a) I'm still alive b) I haven't forgotten about blogging and c) I can still work a keyboard.
First, some links that made me laugh out loud...
Partially Clips
Diesel Sweeties
License Plate
Now some links that made me go hmm...
Checkershadow Illusion
How to Disappear in America
And links that are just really interesting (have you gone to see Mirrormask yet? Go see Mirrormask!)
Interview with Neil Gaiman and one with Dave McKean
And if you know Cenobyte and The Captain, be sure to wish The Captain a happy birthday today! I can't believe it's been six years since the fateful day with the aromatherapy, the heroin and the toilet.
(if you don't know the story, ask me, Cenobyte or Road Rage sometime. It's evolved into a half hour performance with full orchestration and five-part harmony.)
I've seen three movies in as many days. Well, technically, two movies in three days, one twice. Still, I'm movied-out.
I saw Serenity twice, of course. I should have known that no movie would live up to my expectations, though. The second time, I kept clarifying the points that had aroused vague dissatisfaction in me the first time 'round. Hm. Can I do this without ruining it for those what haven't seen it yet? Is there anyone who reads this that hasn't seen it yet? OK, I'll try to be vague, but if you haven't seen it yet and you want to remain untarnished, drop everything and go see the damn movie now. This'll be here when you come back.
OK. I mean, I did like the movie, I'm glad it was made. But...
1) Of the two deaths, one fit and one didn't. I mean, if this were a game, and these were your characters, which death would you be happy with? One was lacking story-juice, to use a friend's lovely phrase. There're movies where bad things happen to good people and life is unfair and arbitrary and generally bleak. Then there are movies where 90-lb girls kick the shit out of ravening hordes and still get to dramatically pose, unscratched, against a backdrop of explosions. Mixing those two genres leads to dissonance.
2) For some reason, the "future-hick" dialog style seemed jarring instead of unfamiliar but natural.
3) After hearing from people who saw the movie without seeing the series, it seems that the movie didn't provide enough background to stand alone, while at the same time changing some stuff that the series had established. Examples off the top of my head: a) Simon's confrontation with Mal seemed not to fit with how things had been going by the time of "Objects in Space." b) You needed to have seen the series to understand Zoe at the end. Without that context, it seemed like she didn't care. c) What happened to the hands-of-blue guys? The series didn't give the impression that they were after River for something she knew, but because of what she was. But in the movie, when The Big Secret came out, she's of no interest to them any more.
In fairness, I don't know what could be done to totally fix this, and it's hard to deal with that many characters in a relatively short movie and make you care about them all.
4) The whole idea of important information existing in only one instantiation is getting obsolete even today. The initial recording, sure, you can see why. Afterwards? Why not blanket the solar system with copies? Leave them in caches. Broadcast it to whoever you can... why is reaching everyone at once such a goal? Again, even today people are pretty inclined to not believe media, or at least believe that it can be altered (if The Operative were such a fanatic, wouldn't that be his first reaction at least?). Hell, you find people still believing that the moon landing was faked. And while the Alliance is supposed to be a democracy (at least, they talk about Parliament and representatives), they've certainly played it as a less than ideal one. So, as in the current time, the real powers are probably almost scandal-immune. Also, some idea of public reaction would have been nice, some idea of consequences apart from The Operative saying "Yeah, it sort of worked." Well, I guess that's what sequels are for.
4) Corpses wouldn't remain intact through ablation. OK, this is minor.
But onto the other movie I saw, which was a complete and utter delight. My face hurt from maintaining a delighted grin for two hours. Go see Mirrormask. Not so much for the story, which is Labyrinth, or Wizard of Oz, or any other variation on the dream-quest archetype (though of course, Gaiman retelling myths is never a bad thing) but for the visuals. And for possibly The Best Line in Any Movie Ever, which I won't repeat because I don't want to spoil it for you plus its impact relies somewhat on the buildup. I loved this movie.
(and part of it was set in Brighton and in the scenes on the balcony I think you can see the corner of the flat block where I lived for a year!)
It's Banned Books Week, and since anti-censorship and reading are two things that I can really get behind, I figure I'd do my part to promote awareness. Here are the 100 most frequently challenged books, according to the American Library Association. I've only read 26 of them! I think it's because I was never that fond of Judy Blume. I can't remember which book(s?) of hers I read, though.
1. Scary Stories (Series) by Alvin Schwartz
2. Daddy’s Roommate by Michael Willhoite
3. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
4. The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
5. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
6. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
7. Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling
8. Forever by Judy Blume
9. Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
10.
11. Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman
12. My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier
13. The Catcher in the
14. The Giver by Lois Lowry
15. It’s Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris
16. Goosebumps (Series) by R.L. Stine
17. A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Newton Peck
18. The Color Purple by Alice Walker
19. Sex by Madonna
20. Earth’s Children (Series) by Jean M. Auel
21. The Great Gilly
22. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle
23. Go Ask
24. Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers
25. In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
26. The Stupids (Series) by Harry Allard
27. The Witches by Roald Dahl
28. The New Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein
29. Anastasia Krupnik (Series) by Lois Lowry
30. The Goats by Brock Cole
31. Kaffir Boy by Mark Mathabane
32. Blubber by Judy Blume
33. Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois Duncan
34. Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam
35. We All Fall Down by Robert Cormier
36. Final Exit by Derek Humphry
37. The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
38. Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George
39. The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
40. What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Girls: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Daughters by Lynda Madaras
41. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
42. Beloved by Toni Morrison
43. The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
44. The Pigman by Paul Zindel
45. Bumps in the Night by Harry Allard
46. Deenie by Judy Blume
47. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
48. Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden
49. The Boy Who Lost His Face by Louis Sachar
50. Cross Your Fingers, Spit in Your Hat by Alvin Schwartz
51. A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein
52. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
53. Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice)
54. Asking About Sex and Growing Up by Joanna Cole
55. Cujo by Stephen King
56. James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
57. The Anarchist Cookbook by William Powell
58. Boys and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
59. Ordinary People by Judith Guest
60. American Psycho by Bret
61. What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Boys: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Sons by Lynda Madaras
62. Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
63. Crazy Lady by Jane Conly
64. Athletic Shorts by Chris Crutcher
65. Fade by Robert Cormier
66. Guess What? by Mem Fox
67. The House of Spirits by Isabel Allende
68. The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline Cooney
69. Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
70. Lord of the Flies by William Golding
71. Native Son by Richard Wright
72. Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women’s Fantasies by
73. Curses, Hexes and Spells by Daniel Cohen
74. Jack by A.M. Homes
75. Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo A. Anaya
76. Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle
77. Carrie by Stephen King
78. Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume
79. On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer
80.
81. Family Secrets by Norma Klein
82. Mommy Laid An Egg by Babette Cole
83. The Dead Zone by Stephen King
84. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
85. Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison
86. Always Running by Luis Rodriguez
87. Private Parts by Howard Stern
88. Where’s Waldo? by Martin Hanford
89. Summer of My German Soldier by Bette Greene
90. Little Black Sambo by Helen Bannerman
91. Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
92. Running Loose by Chris Crutcher
93. Sex Education by Jenny Davis
94. The Drowning of Stephen Jones by Bette Greene
95. Girls and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
96. How to Eat Fried
97. View from the Cherry Tree by Willo Davis Roberts
98. The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Keatley Snyder
99. The Terrorist by Caroline Cooney
100. Jump Ship to Freedom by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier
I'm not sure which of these were challenged in school libraries, public libraries, or what. Of the ones I've read, I'd say that I wouldn't put the Sleeping Beauty trilogy and the Anarchist Cookbook in a school library, just like I wouldn't give a child a martini. You have to save *some* things for growing up.
I imagine that sex is the primary reason for controversy, with racist language being a close second. But (again, as far as the ones I've read), I don't think that racist language in and of itself promotes racism. Is the sentence "The evil, mean man called him a wop" racist? I guess you could argue that it might teach someone the word "wop," but I think it's better to know that words like that exist, and that they're offensive, and how times have changed, than to be ignorant.
This is coming from someone who (AS AN ILL-JUDGED JOKE!) told a bar full of Quebec engineering students to "speak white"... according to my brand of logic, that was only truly offensive if you think that being called non-white is offensive. If someone called me a redhead, I'd just be puzzled and try to see the joke, because my hair's not red. Same thing with skin tone. Apparently there's a lot more to it than that. Who knew? Well, me, now. I'm lucky to still have all my teeth. Maybe I can say that the book that would have explained the situation was banned from my elementary school library...
Looking back on the list, "promoting the occult" probably was a popular factor too. Sigh. So some kids that can't figure out what fiction is might try chanting nonsense, see it doesn't work, and find some philosophy that does make sense to them. Hm. Maybe I can see why the religious nuts are against it.
Aaaannnyway, how 'bout that local sports team?
It's International Talk Like a Pirate Day!
Arr, and to honour that, the fine R:tAG and me set the sails of our vessel and steered to the Northern California Renaissance Faire, a'cause this were the Weekend o' the Pirate Invasion! Like at the landlubbery Garlic Festival, we were gobsmacked at the size of the fair(e) and the crowds, scupper me wi' a marlinspike else! Luckily though we've dropped anchor we still kept some fitting pirate duds, close-hauled in our many treasure chests, arr! So we blended in, paid for food at appropriate rates (piratical) and enjoyed the day. We were a trifle confused at the jousts (a plaguey daft way of settling fights, prancing around on horses... whip out yer blunderbuss and let the scurvy dog have it between the eyes, I say!) but after seeing the cove with the huge turquoise sombrero, and all the fairies with gauze wings, and the craze for putting animal ears on yer muffin cap, we decided that the whole concept of "period" was plainly as off-course as a sloop in a gale, belike.
Bugger me with a belaying pin, it's going to be hard going to stop talkin' like this. Arr!
